My Age in Hair....

I am 42. Or i think I am. My birth certificate says I was born in 1971 so I must be. Is my real age 42? Is my age mental or physical? And how do I know. My dog is 3 so in human years he's 33, so does that principle work the same way for people? Because in my mind I am still 21 does that mean I am actually half my physical age? So when I'm 60 I will only be 30???? And more importantly does this matter???? I didn't think it did, but my 9 year old daughter just told me whilst playing the wii just dance game that "wake me up before you go go" was a really old song. No it isn't!!!  it is a song from when I was young and that wasn't that long ago was it??? What makes me old??? Is it the tired cynical outlook I seem to have adopted as life goes on, is it the fact I now get stressed and tired when previously I would have taken on the world and won? Or is it the fact that my ears and nose are now sprouting hair quicker than my head does? This I am convinced is the real true test of getting old, the more hair that grows out of my ears the older I am in real terms.So now when I look back on holidays from my youth, the drunken all nighters in the arms of some anonymous woman, the feeling that I could do anything and go anywhere, I won't feel sadness that I don't feel that way now and can't do those things I will feel sadness that those were the days my ears and nose were hairless.
Stay safe and be lucky.....

Back to the Future

Well after a few weeks of dithering and deciding, I finally made the move back to dispatching on nights so I can concentrate on cracking on with the knowledge.
Lots of people have asked me why I have done this, and stepped down from a great position with the firm I work for, and why have I taken a pay cut?????
The reasons for this are very simple really. Why I first started working for GetTaxi, the whole reason was to pay the bills while I concentrated on the knowledge. I started working nights so had time to call over, do map work,plus was able to go out in the morning and crack on with the runs. Those of you that read this regularly will know that I smashed the first three books and was making great progress. Then the Olympics happened and my situation at work changed, for some really strange reason they promoted me, not once but twice!!! and although I loved doing the job ( and again for some strange reason they thought I was good at it) and the money was good, it took all my time and left me no time to get out on Aunt Sally and move the knowledge forward. This wasn't in the plans I had made for my future and I was beginning to get to the point where I had to make a decision, either concentrate on building a corporate future (and to be honest the thought of having a boss and spending my life in an office filled me with dread) or commit myself to doing the KOL. The main reason for me starting the KOL was that I didn't want my income and my future dependent on someone else and I was beginning to be back at that place, so I decided that the time had come to step away from being Mr. Corporate and get back to being a proper committed knowledge boy and eventually get to the point where my income is down to me. Obviously that took a bit of time to put into place and couldn't happen all at once, there was no way that I was going to leave the GetTaxi team in a fix with my decisions, so once replacements had been organised, I was able to go back to where I started.
Now I am happier than I have been in a long time, I am able to spend the time the knowledge needs, and I am already getting back into it as I was previously.
So now I have given a quick history lesson what am I up to now? Well now my days are filled with trips out to different postcodes, trying to pick up different points in each, so that I have a strong foundation ready for the dreaded map test. I know everyone has a different way of doing it, but although my method seems a bit weird and long winded it seems to suit my brain, and as I have been told a million times there is no right or wrong way of doing it, I just have to find my own. Calling over is now becoming a habit again, I try to call a book a day, plus doing the points I have found, and having the time to drive around getting to grips with different areas is definitely proving worthwhile. Having spent all last Tuesday driving round NW1 in the pouring rain, at least I have a better idea of Camden and the fun that is all the one ways.
Anyway it's time for me to dive back into book 4 and finish the last 40 runs, so thanks for reading and hopefully now I have more time to call my own I will be able to keep this blog updated more regularly.
Keep safe out there and be lucky....

The joys of pointing....

Well now that I have finished all the runs, I'm off out pointing. For those that don't know pointing is learning all the points of interest on the roads that I've learnt ( in fact on all roads lol). This brings about many different thoughts and worries. The first is now I understand just how big a task the knowledge actually is and just how daunting it all is. Let me explain, I never thought that it was ever going to be easy, but the other day I decided that I would do some pointing in NW5 because it's near where I work and in my head I was thinking that there isn't that many points in that area. How wrong was I!!!!! I picked up about 50 in about an hour and a half!!!!!.Then when I got in I had to listen to what I had recorded on my dictaphone, write them all up onto flashcards with the entry and exit routes on them, now all I have to do is learn them all. I guess that these are just more of an ever increasing jigsaw of London that I have to learn. I was speaking to a few guys that are out and they have all told me to only do bite size amounts of points otherwise my brain won't cope ( in truth I think maybe learning three or four would fill my tiny brain up lol), so now I am going to visit each postcode once to start with and collect maybe 20/30 points each time, learn them and once I have visited each postcode once go back and learn more. To me this seems to be the way I will learn best. This brings me to the other fear I have, what if I am doing it wrong???? I know everyone has their own way of doing the KOL and each school has it's own way ( all of them seem to think that their way is the only and best way to do it by the way), but I have a fear of spending all this time out on Aunt Sally and it being a waste. I guess time will tell and if I am learning points and roads then I must be doing it right.
I must admit that doing the points is so much more interesting that doing the runs, I get to explore and see things that "normal" people will never get to notice, so that makes it more enjoyable.
I have managed to get into a routine now that I have cut back on work, getting up a bit earlier in the morning to call the blue books and also dong an hour of calling over when I get in of an evening. I only call 20 runs each time, again it's the bite size principle and considering I will be calling these runs for the next two or three years then smaller and sticking in my brain is definitely the way to go.
There isn't much humour in this post but the cruel part of me saw something that had me in fits of giggles last Thursday, someone coming out of their very posh house somehow managed to fall down the steps at the front and was lying there spread eagle  with the briefcase open and papers flying everywhere. Possibly not funny but made me chuckle never the less.
Anyway feel free to comment on this and any advice is always welcome.
Till next time.......

Finally finished the Blue books....

So after nearly 14 months when I set out on Aunt Sally for the first time to do Manor House Station to Gibson Square I have finally completed all the runs finishing up at Charing Cross Station. The last book which was the same size as the other three (80 runs) has pretty much taken me 6 months for various reasons, which I will talk about later. According to the information I have got 70% of people who start the knowledge quit, of these 60% quit before they have finished the blue books, which if my maths is any good means that 41 people quit before finishing the runs. To have completed this much of the knowledge gives me a feeling of immense pride, particulaly as those of you who have read previous posting know I tried once before and gave up. I am very very aware that I am still just past the start of it now and I still have a long long way to go, however pointing ( for those readers who know nothing about the knowledge pointing is when I go out and find points, which are places of public interest ( just think how many of them there are), and find out where they are and the best ways to get to them) does interest me more than the runs because to all intent and purpose it's just exploring.

So why did book four take me so long? Well there are various reasons for this, I had to take a break while the roads were closed for the Olympics, as there were places I couldn't go so it would have been a waste of time, BUT as anyone who is doing the knowledge knows once you take a break it gets very difficult to get back in the saddle, and it is very easy to forget everything that you have learnt.
Then I went away, although I did do a bit of calling over and I bought myself a postcode jigsaw to do while I was away, this is a jigsaw that has your own chosen postcode in the center and extends to about 2 miles either side of this point. Although it took me about four hours to do (without having a map as reference) it was a really good, but different way of doing some "knowledge stuff".
The last and probably main reason though is that I got caught up with work and I let it take over. As regular readers will know I work for GetTaxi and during the Autumn I was promoted to fleet and customer service manager ( with a little payrise!), which meant I was responsible for everything to do with drivers and everything to do with customers. With all the reorganisation I had to do this took all my time, and I can see how easy it is to put the knowledge on the backburner. However now that both of these departments are running really well, I can stand down, take a step backwards at work, and get my head back into the knowledge. As great as working in my current role has been, my aim is to become part of the best taxi service in the world, and I need to crack on and get my badge. Those of you that are reading this and work with GetTaxi, I will still be invoved with the drivers, but in a lesser role.
I guess the reason I haven't mentioned as to why book four took me so long was the fact that naturally I am a lazy sod! Can't really moan about this one, all I have to do from now on is get myself back to being organised and pull my finger out!!!!

So what have I learnt about myself and the knowledge while doing the runs? The main thing is that with the knowledge there is only one way of doing it - you either do it properly and let it take over your life or you don't bother. Someone said to me that while I was working I should do the knowledge as a hobby, well I can tell anyone who is thinking of doing it that way that it doesn't work. If I dont' call over regulaly ( which I haven't been but am now) then I forget, and if I forget then what was the point in driving the run in the first place???? It is so easy to be side-tracked, to make the knowledge less of a priority than it should be and I can only speak for myself, but I want to be a London taxi driver and to become that I need to concentrate on doing this properly.
Also that there is no right way or wrong way of doing the knowledge, each school seems to have it's own way ( and no I haven't joined one yet), but they all seem to think that their way is the only way, to me the best way of doing the knowledge is the way that I feel comfortable and learn the most, even if it's a wacky as some of the ideas I have had.
I am still in love with the knowledge and every time I ride around London I find something new and fall in love with the city even more. Although I have let my knowledge slide, I am still in the game and am now pushing on to hopefully doing my map test in the summer.
There has never been a truer word spoken than the phrase - You can't fail the knowledge, you can only quit, and I won't do that.
I will try not to leave it so long till I write again but in the meantime take care out there, be safe and be lucky.

Sorry but you really are a cock.....

To celebrate me finally finishing book 3 I thought I would do something completely different to my usual blog entries and have a bit of a moan lol This is (and in no order) things that I have seen over the last six months where the thought in my head is "sorry but you really are a cock..."
TFL/JOHN MASON/BORIS THE MAYOR/SEB COE
With the olympics just around the corner this one really is too easy a target. So that a few people can run and jump about the whole of our beautiful city has been turned into a no-go police state. The ZIL lanes have been introduced for the benefit of the few rich visiting leeches and the misery that has been caused to the majority of hard-working decent Londoners is unforgivable. TFL have had seven YES SEVEN years to make sure that the transport infrastructure can cope, that everybodys needs are met but with 5 days to go hundreds of BLACK TAXI drivers still haven't received their booklets with a listing of which roads are closed,which turns can be made and where the ZIL lanes are etc. This is a disgrace and everybody involved should hang their head in shame ( and do the honourable thing and resign, or the more honourable thing and jump off a bridge). People's human rights are being abused just so a few people/companies can make a vast amount of money, business's ruined just for the ego's of the few. How can a modern city with the best TAXI service in the world not be allowed to pick up disabled people from the kerb?????? Cities like New York and Paris would kill to have the TAXI service London has and yet TFL and Boris seem to want to kill it so to TFL/JOHN MASON/BORIS/SEB sorry but you really are a cock.
JOHN GRIFFIN
No explanation needed, sorry but you really are a cock.
MIDDLE AGED MEN ON BIKES WHO WEAR ALL THE GEAR.
I have nothing against people who cycle, it's a free mode of transport and it is healthy, in fact I have been known to jump on a bike (no rude comments about the women in Romford please) but why oh why do these people feel the need to dress as though they are competing in the Tour De France. You're not you're cycling along Balls Pond Road on your way to work in an office processing insurance claims all day GET OVER IT!!!! You don't have to look like that just to ride a bike to work. It's the same with middle aged men wearing replica football kits - you're never going to get a game and the beer gut you have shows up more on shirts made for athlete's!!!!  So to these people I say, sorry but you really are a cock.
COFFEE SHOP SHOW-OFFS
We've all seem these people in Costa or Starbucks, we want a coffee, with milk and maybe a bit of foam on the top so we can be a bit exotic. They come in an order a choca,mocha,skinny latte with cinnamon on top.Why???? Without wanting to sound horrible it's a fucking coffee, it's not a work of art you're just making yourself look stupid. Please walk in and ask for a coffee to go with milk otherwise sorry but you really are a cock.
FAT PEOPLE WHO DRESS LIKE THEY'RE NOT
I'm not fat, I have developed a little pot belly over the last few months, but I don't anyone could ever accuse me of being fat, but even so there are certain tops that I don't wear anymore because they make me look fat, so why oh why do fat people wear clothes that really they shouldn't??? Who told fat women that skin-tight virtually see-through leggings were a good idea???? THEY'RE NOT!!!! I don't want to see what they show, fat men please pull your trousers/jeans up I do not want to see the great abyss of your arse crack when you're walking in front of me. There are some very attractive larger people who dress appropriately for their size but the rest of you, sorry but you really are a cock.
TFL/MET POLICE
Back to the TAXI theme for one, this is for all the officials of TFL and the officers of the MET POLICE that stand around while hundreds of illegal minicabs ply for hire and put the people of London at risk. The law is the law and they are breaking it so get of your lazy arses and start to prosecute these people before even more misery is caused, until you start to do the jobs that you are paid for,sorry but you are a cock.
BOBFOC'S
This stands for body off baywatch, face off crimewatch, and to these people I say please accept your limitations, don't wear really low tops in the hope that we will look at your chest and not your face, we do that anyway we're men. We know you look like a bulldog chewing a wasp, and we know that you have a nice rack, but we will still see your face and we will still walk away. To think that we can ignore your Shek like features is a mistake and if you think that well sorry but you are a cock.
JOHN GRIFFIN
Again no explanation needed but sorry you are a cock.
CELEBS
I have to be a bit careful with this one because there are some people that are genuinely a celeb, but this is for all the wannabe's from show's like TOWIE (twats and wankers in essex), X FACTOR, BGT and the like. You have done nothing, said nothing achieved nothing (apart from earning a shed load of cash obviously) and really you need to stop acting like you're amazing. You're not sorry but you really are a cock.
PREMIERSHIP FOOTBALLERS
Again I want to be a little careful here because I'm sure not all footballers are the stereo typical idiots that we see in the papers etc, but there is a long list of things that make these people cocks. To start with stop falling over when someone goes within a foot of you, and diving around like you have been shot, or holding your head when you got elbowed in the ribs, it makes you look like a bunch of jessie's. Stop buying stupid cars and flashing your money around, as a nation we possess maybe one or two player that could be classed as world class the rest are average, so stop rubbing our noses in it that you get paid an obscene amount of money for having less talent that the spanish players have in their left testicle.And finally stop cheating on your women, most of them are hot anyway and shagging some skanky hairdresser in an alley behind a club isn't big and it isn't clever so sorry but you really are a cock.
THE OCCUPY MOVEMENT
Last one for now (i'm sure that this type of blog could go on for ever and ever) but to all the dirty unwashed scumbags that decided it would be a good idea to turn parts of London into a pikey camp sorry but you really are a cock. You had no real idea what you were protesting about, you just decided that you would break the law and take the piss, I hope you all got trenchfoot and and now suffering really serious illness  due to you living in a camp and shitting in a bag.
Well there we go my little rant over, now I can get back to finishing book 4 (once all the roads are open) and get down to pointing which I'm really looking forward to. I hope you enjoyed reading this feel free to leave a comment, but please note that some of it is very much tongue in cheek, so I hope I haven't offended anybody. To Naomi, I hope this puts a smile on your face while you're recovering and to JOHN GRIFFIN one last time... SORRY BUT YOU REALLY ARE A COCK!!!!!!!!!!

Halfway through the 320 runs and a reflection

Well it's been a while since I last posted anything on here, but contrary to popular belief it's not because I am lazy sod but I have been cracking on and now I have finally finished book two of the runs. For those of you that don't know there are 320 runs in the blue book and they are split into four books of 80 runs each so now I have done two books I am halfway through the runs.This for me is a bit of a milestone, the last time I attempted the knowledge I only got as far as the first 80 runs before my bike was stolen,  I got a different job and gave up so to be halfway through is very pleasing.
So what have I learnt ( apart from 160 runs of course lol)?
The biggest thing for me being a London Virgin (see previous post) is now I am finally not getting lost either going to runs or getting home from them, I'm even being brave enough to cross over the river if I think that is a better line home ( of course I know that when I finally get my badge and get out there I will never go south of the river especially not late at night lol). I ride along roads and can name certain roads as I go past them which does give me a sense of knowing what the hell I'm doing, however false an impression that may be!
I am still loving doing it, no the novelty hasn't rubbed off yet, I love discovering different parts of this great city of ours, my favourite is parking at Royal Circus and just enjoying the view, for anyone who hasn't taken the time to do that it's sensational. Of course there are parts of London that if it were a child only it's mother could love but you have to take the rough with the smooth I guess.I have been told that everyone doing the knowledge hits a wall between six months and a year and wants to quit ( for the first time) but I still feel as enthusiastic today as I did when I set off on that cold winters evening to go to Manor House Station ( god that seems like a long time ago).
I've got into a proper routine doing it, writing up runs, drawing runs on my map, calling over and then actually doing them on Aunt Sally. For those of you wondering how she is getting on, she's now done 4500 miles had two services, one puncture and several near misses but she is doing me proud. I do find that when I'm on my own rather than just sitting there trying to call the runs parrot fashion it works better for me drawing them on a laminated map as I call them it helps to visualise them, although as I do more runs I find that I am deviating from the runs in the book because I have found a better way to go, and that can be quite confusing.
While I'm writing about my routine I have to mention GetTaxi.co.uk where I do the night shift working in dispatch, the job is going really well, it pays the bills plus I am sitting in front of a map looking at the system so I am learning all the time and when we're quiet ( which is quite often because the system generally books the work and allocates it) I am able to do my knowledge work, I know that for us knowledge boys and girls combining work and doing the knowledge is one of the biggest challenges, well GetTaxi have solved my problems on that side of things ( if any of you knowledge boys or girls reading this are looking for work then let me know we are always looking for good people).
When I first started everyone told me that the knowledge takes over your life, and me in my wisdom thought that they were wrong, I'd be able to carry on playing darts a few times a week and having a life, but guess what I WAS WRONG!!!!!  the knowledge is now my life, when I'm not on Aunt Sally I'm, writing up runs, penning runs, or listening to the runs on CD ( I listen to them as I'm sleeping apparently sublimely I will take them in but I have no evidence of this in truth lol) even to the point that during the jubilee coverage I was trying to name the roads as they were sown on the telly,so the darts have gone by the wayside, as has pretty much any kind of life, but I know that it will be worth the sacrifice in the end.
I am amazed at the number of drivers who are helpful, whether it's a driver at work giving advice,suggesting different ways to try things or just being encouraging, or the drivers that I talk to at petrol stations, who when they see the knowledge board always ask how it's going and tell me to keep going and never give up. I would particularly like to thank Micky and John B who have both given me great advice and encouragement.(sounds like a poncy Oscar acceptance speech!)
One last thing before I go, it's the Diamond Jubilee and what a fantastic time in London to see all the flags and street decorations, just shows that this really is the greatest city in the world.
Anyway that is me done for now, half way through and loving it!!!!!!!

The Knowledge Alphabet....

I thought I would write about something a bit different and slightly light hearted as I am getting very stressed about my progress so far, I'm half way through book two and seem to have hit a brick wall with my calling over, I just can't remember the runs, so I'm having a week off to re-charge my batteries and I thought this would be fun.....
A- Appearances. The meeting with the examiners when we find out just how much we know or don't as the case may be, the joy of sitting in front of someone feeling very stupid and hoping all out hard work shows through.
B- Blue Book. Our bible, all 320 runs in a nice little book this is what our lives now revolve around!!!!.
C-Calling Over. The bane of our lives, we love being out there doing the runs visiting the points but then we have to call over either the BB or P2P hate it really hate it lol
D- Dedication. As Roy Castle used to sing, if you haven't got it give up now it's gonna take years to do, gonna take over your whole life nothing else will matter - if you're not dedicated then may as well not start.
E- Ex. Ex wives/girlfriends, unfortunately many of us KOL peeps can end up losing our partners as they can't put up with what we have to go through - I hope it doesn't happen to you!!!!!!
F- Fifty-six. The start of it the appearances, once the map test is out of the way the real fun begins!!!!!
G- Green Badge. Why we're doing this, the Holy Grail lol
H- Helmet. A KOL boys best friend for the times that you come off the bike due to Addison lee cutting you up!!!!
I- Impossible/Inspiration. How the KOL feels and what you need to get through it.
J - Job. Something most of us have to do to pay the bills while doing the KOL, a few lucky sods give up work but for the rest of us we have to fit in the KOL around it.
K- Knowledge Schools. Somewhere to go to meet other KOL peeps and get help and advice, or somewhere to go to find out you know a damn sight less than you thought you did!!!!
L- Lost. We all do it, don't deny it one of the pleasures of doing the KOL.
M- Maps. Second only to our Blue Book we love our maps we study them, write on them and when I've finished the KOL I never want to see another map again in my life.
N- New Friends. One of the joys of the KOL is meeting new people who are doing it, they are the people we can talk to about it and they understand what we're going through, and even when they pass out we're pleased for them even though we are soooooo jealous.
O- Over and Over and Over. What we do when we call runs, visit points EVERYTHING OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER and eventually it sinks in ( we hope)
P- Points. What we have to learn, all of them, every single bloody last one (for those of you that don't know a point is a place of public interest, on any road within a 6 mile radius of Charing Cross. Could be a hospital, church, shop, club police station or government building or anything else, and yes there are lots and lots and lots of them!!!)
Q- Quit. Out of every 10 people that start the KOL only 3/4 will get the Green Badge the rest quit. You can't fail the KOL only quit it.
R- Red-lined. What happens on appearances when you don't get enough points, means you could go from 28's back to 56's happens to the very best of us.
S-Scooter. The KOL peeps best friend, what we use to take us around London in all sorts of weather and hopefully it doesn't break down, I spend more time on my scooter than I do my missus!
T-TFL. The organisation responsible for putting us through this. Used to be the Carriage Office now TFL.
U- Understanding. What our Friends and family need to be while we have 3 years worth of mental breakdowns because we can't remember whether it's a right turn or a left turn.
V- Victories. We have little ones everyday, we find a point we couldn't or we finally work out how two roads link up, everyone of these is personal and no one else will understand just how great it feels when you get one.
W- Weather. Out on the scooter in the freezing cold or the pouring rain or when it's boiling hot - we take on the weather and win because we are on the KOL.
X-XXXX. Pick any swear word you like, and you'll say it a million times when you miss a turn, miss a point, come off your scooter or call over a run wrong, in fact if you dont' swear then you're not doing the KOL right.
Y- Why?. I ask myself this question everyday and it is a great motivator, we all have our reasons for doing the KOL, and we also ask ourselves why we put ourselves through it, but it's worth it at the end.
Z- ZZzzzzz. Sleep, What we all seem to miss out on doing the KOL, and when we do finally go to sleep we're thinking of the best lines to call or where a certain place is. How I wish for the days when I would fall asleep and just dream of me and the spice girls and a very large bottle of vodka.

I hope you enjoyed my light-hearted look at the alphabet, until next time stay safe and be lucky.....