Sorry but you really are a cock.....

To celebrate me finally finishing book 3 I thought I would do something completely different to my usual blog entries and have a bit of a moan lol This is (and in no order) things that I have seen over the last six months where the thought in my head is "sorry but you really are a cock..."
TFL/JOHN MASON/BORIS THE MAYOR/SEB COE
With the olympics just around the corner this one really is too easy a target. So that a few people can run and jump about the whole of our beautiful city has been turned into a no-go police state. The ZIL lanes have been introduced for the benefit of the few rich visiting leeches and the misery that has been caused to the majority of hard-working decent Londoners is unforgivable. TFL have had seven YES SEVEN years to make sure that the transport infrastructure can cope, that everybodys needs are met but with 5 days to go hundreds of BLACK TAXI drivers still haven't received their booklets with a listing of which roads are closed,which turns can be made and where the ZIL lanes are etc. This is a disgrace and everybody involved should hang their head in shame ( and do the honourable thing and resign, or the more honourable thing and jump off a bridge). People's human rights are being abused just so a few people/companies can make a vast amount of money, business's ruined just for the ego's of the few. How can a modern city with the best TAXI service in the world not be allowed to pick up disabled people from the kerb?????? Cities like New York and Paris would kill to have the TAXI service London has and yet TFL and Boris seem to want to kill it so to TFL/JOHN MASON/BORIS/SEB sorry but you really are a cock.
JOHN GRIFFIN
No explanation needed, sorry but you really are a cock.
MIDDLE AGED MEN ON BIKES WHO WEAR ALL THE GEAR.
I have nothing against people who cycle, it's a free mode of transport and it is healthy, in fact I have been known to jump on a bike (no rude comments about the women in Romford please) but why oh why do these people feel the need to dress as though they are competing in the Tour De France. You're not you're cycling along Balls Pond Road on your way to work in an office processing insurance claims all day GET OVER IT!!!! You don't have to look like that just to ride a bike to work. It's the same with middle aged men wearing replica football kits - you're never going to get a game and the beer gut you have shows up more on shirts made for athlete's!!!!  So to these people I say, sorry but you really are a cock.
COFFEE SHOP SHOW-OFFS
We've all seem these people in Costa or Starbucks, we want a coffee, with milk and maybe a bit of foam on the top so we can be a bit exotic. They come in an order a choca,mocha,skinny latte with cinnamon on top.Why???? Without wanting to sound horrible it's a fucking coffee, it's not a work of art you're just making yourself look stupid. Please walk in and ask for a coffee to go with milk otherwise sorry but you really are a cock.
FAT PEOPLE WHO DRESS LIKE THEY'RE NOT
I'm not fat, I have developed a little pot belly over the last few months, but I don't anyone could ever accuse me of being fat, but even so there are certain tops that I don't wear anymore because they make me look fat, so why oh why do fat people wear clothes that really they shouldn't??? Who told fat women that skin-tight virtually see-through leggings were a good idea???? THEY'RE NOT!!!! I don't want to see what they show, fat men please pull your trousers/jeans up I do not want to see the great abyss of your arse crack when you're walking in front of me. There are some very attractive larger people who dress appropriately for their size but the rest of you, sorry but you really are a cock.
TFL/MET POLICE
Back to the TAXI theme for one, this is for all the officials of TFL and the officers of the MET POLICE that stand around while hundreds of illegal minicabs ply for hire and put the people of London at risk. The law is the law and they are breaking it so get of your lazy arses and start to prosecute these people before even more misery is caused, until you start to do the jobs that you are paid for,sorry but you are a cock.
BOBFOC'S
This stands for body off baywatch, face off crimewatch, and to these people I say please accept your limitations, don't wear really low tops in the hope that we will look at your chest and not your face, we do that anyway we're men. We know you look like a bulldog chewing a wasp, and we know that you have a nice rack, but we will still see your face and we will still walk away. To think that we can ignore your Shek like features is a mistake and if you think that well sorry but you are a cock.
JOHN GRIFFIN
Again no explanation needed but sorry you are a cock.
CELEBS
I have to be a bit careful with this one because there are some people that are genuinely a celeb, but this is for all the wannabe's from show's like TOWIE (twats and wankers in essex), X FACTOR, BGT and the like. You have done nothing, said nothing achieved nothing (apart from earning a shed load of cash obviously) and really you need to stop acting like you're amazing. You're not sorry but you really are a cock.
PREMIERSHIP FOOTBALLERS
Again I want to be a little careful here because I'm sure not all footballers are the stereo typical idiots that we see in the papers etc, but there is a long list of things that make these people cocks. To start with stop falling over when someone goes within a foot of you, and diving around like you have been shot, or holding your head when you got elbowed in the ribs, it makes you look like a bunch of jessie's. Stop buying stupid cars and flashing your money around, as a nation we possess maybe one or two player that could be classed as world class the rest are average, so stop rubbing our noses in it that you get paid an obscene amount of money for having less talent that the spanish players have in their left testicle.And finally stop cheating on your women, most of them are hot anyway and shagging some skanky hairdresser in an alley behind a club isn't big and it isn't clever so sorry but you really are a cock.
THE OCCUPY MOVEMENT
Last one for now (i'm sure that this type of blog could go on for ever and ever) but to all the dirty unwashed scumbags that decided it would be a good idea to turn parts of London into a pikey camp sorry but you really are a cock. You had no real idea what you were protesting about, you just decided that you would break the law and take the piss, I hope you all got trenchfoot and and now suffering really serious illness  due to you living in a camp and shitting in a bag.
Well there we go my little rant over, now I can get back to finishing book 4 (once all the roads are open) and get down to pointing which I'm really looking forward to. I hope you enjoyed reading this feel free to leave a comment, but please note that some of it is very much tongue in cheek, so I hope I haven't offended anybody. To Naomi, I hope this puts a smile on your face while you're recovering and to JOHN GRIFFIN one last time... SORRY BUT YOU REALLY ARE A COCK!!!!!!!!!!